Welcome back!
Sadly, I was forced to cut off the mullet earlier this week. The culprit, you ask? Deadly heat ray humidity. I have no idea how these people keep long hair in the Spring, let alone the Summer. Maybe it’s just an expat thing, but I’ll be pouring sweat just walking down the street, while older generations stay cozily bundled up and cool as a cucumber. It boggles my mind.
I taught an English class last week where my student commented on the sheen of perspiration resting on my forehead. How can my students take me seriously as a teacher when I can’t even stay cool? As bad as that was, teaching English is child’s play compared to riding the subte in the morning. The places where I teach are only three stops away — about a ten minute ride — but I come shooting out of the subte doors at my stop because I become very aerodynamic after being drenched in my own sweat. I have no idea how these people don’t melt! I have a light polo on and they’re wearing full suits, yet I’m the one perspiring?
And so, in the interest of my own health, beard and general shagginess have been shorn. I’m back to my usual extremely short hair. I will not allow Buenos Aires to set me alight once the real heat hits. Sorry to all those that were looking forward to the full mulletude.
As penance, I’ve posted the most embarrassing photo I have after shaving my head.
I’ve had an internal struggle over the last couple weeks over my hair, and I think I’ve finally made the right choice. I’m going to go for the mullet. I’ll admit, they have always interested me. What kind of brave soul would so brazenly flaunt social norms? Who would dare to go for a haircut with names such as the “Tennessee Tophat” or “Kentucky Waterfall?” I’ve made my decision on this, so don’t try to get me to back down. I’ll only shave it if it becomes completely unbearable or I become completely unemployable. Whichever happens first.
If there was ever a time for me to do this, it’s now. Down here mullets are acceptable, bordering on fashionable. I’ve seen mullets that you wouldn’t believe. Mullet concoctions held together only by gel and sheer will. They also love variations on the rat tail. And not even one consolidated rat tail, usually one off to the side of their mullet. Magnificent. The Mullet Watch section of my site will be updated every so often to let you know of my progress, and I’ll try to put up pictures as well. But first, I’d like to present to you my muse:
Now THAT is a mullet! I can only aspire to ever have one that epic. Notice how comfortable he is in his natural habitat, wearing the typical uniform of a mullet-sporter, the cut-off jorts. He is definitely bringing the fire. Below you’ll find a picture of my hair in its current state. Not much to look at just yet, but in time it will blossom. I believe that my mullet will most likely only make its way down the left side of my neck, as my hair grows much faster there. And yes, I know I have a hairy neck. Thanks for the wolfman genes Dad.
Business in the front, party in the rear. Rock on.
